Can You Keep a Secret…

17 May

So I recently read a book called “Can You Keep a Secret?” by Sophie Kinsella. It’s about this girl who pours out all her deep dark secrets to a man she doesn’t know only to find out he’s the CEO of the company she works for (you can get that off the back of the book so I didn’t spoil anything guys).

Her secrets aren’t anything earth shattering, just that sometimes she waters her coworker’s plant with orange juice and she doesn’t like to wear G-strings (I mean who does? Really? It’s like some Indonesian torture device hooha). But then I started thinking…what are my secrets? I know I can’t really keep secrets but I also know I don’t tell everyone everything.

Some of these aren’t completely secret but they’ll do.

1. I hated “Gone with the Wind.” I was so completely irritated by Scarlett O’Hara I wanted to take her by the neck and just rattle her around a bit. And the book itself! It’s like a glorified history book! She spends pages talking about Melanie’s neighbor’s uncle’s goat farm. Where is the relevancy???

2. On that note, I also hate John Steinbeck. Dude just needed to take some little happy pills and have a nice long nap because maybe after that, he’d write something less depressing. Granted, I never read Grapes of Wrath or Cannery Row and I owe it to myself as a born and raised Salinas resident to read those, but the books I did read were atrocious. (Spoiler Alert) who wants to read about a baby getting shot in the head or someone giving themselves an abortion with a crochet needle? Not me!

This secret giving is taking an ugly turn….

3. Sometimes I like to just look at my bookcase. It looks so pretty to me with all the colorful spins and everything lined up all nice and neat.

4. I leave notes for myself around my apartment to remind me of things I need to do. Some of you have seen these…but then I get so used to looking at the notes that I don’t even read them anymore so it kind of defeats the purpose of having said notes.

5. I yell mean things at my cat and spray him with water. Sometimes just for fun.

6. I’ll say I had a nice green salad for dinner but what I really had was the better part of a frozen pizza and 3/4 of a bottle of wine.

7. I thought by hanging up my headbands this way it would look way more organized but now I’m thinking it just looks silly. But I’ll probably just leave it up.

And yes that’s a shirtless guy in the corner. Long story.

8. It’s no secret how much I love Audrey Hepburn. I just felt like throwing that in. I wanted to name my cat after the cat in Breakfast at Tiffany’s until I realized the cat’s name was….Cat.

9. Sometimes I feel doomed to make the same mistakes over and over again.

10. I am dying for the moment when I’ll be able to tell someone “I hope they shrivel up and fall off.”

Those are just some of my secrets. What are yours?


3 Responses to “Can You Keep a Secret…”

  1. Preciouz May 18, 2011 at 10:33 pm #

    Scarlett O’Hara, whinny and self centered and finding herself in the middle of a war…
    Luke Skywalker whinny and self centered, finding himself in the middle of a war with a girlie haircut??? (Rewatch Star Wars and TELL ME he doesn’t look like a girl!)
    Coincidence? I think not!
    Lucas just ripped off Mitchell!

    Ok, I know you don’t play WOW (that is World of Warcraft to noobs) but I just had to send you this link. Tell me what you think of it:
    OH! and this one…

    I am not being your mom but I want you to be careful in cyberspace ok? People are WEIRD woman!

  2. Danny Hernandez June 19, 2011 at 10:14 pm #

    I have a secret…. I took a picture of myself in your bathroom mirror with your cover lettuce post it cause I thought it was hilarious lol

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